Nikki, I have a issue. My babys father and I have been dealing with each other for almost 2 years. The thing is that he's married. He always tells me how he's leaving her, and is not in love with her anymore, and that he wants to come be with me and our son, but he still hasn't done it. Our son is 5 months old now, and he has barely done anything for him. When I tell him that the baby needs something, he usually comes over, but he never brings what I asked for (he always says he doesn't have any money right now but when he gets some he'll come back), we just usually end up having sex. He has 3 kids with his wife and I know their kids are well taken care of. I love him to death but, if he's not planning on being with me, like he said he was, then I'm thinking about just letting go and filing for child support...am I wrong?
YES...Why are you still sleeping with him?!? Ok wait a minute let me first say, that one of the saddest parts of this whole situation is that if you file for child support, more than likely his wife is going to be the one forced to pay it, since it sounds like he probably doesn't have a dime, his other children are probably "well taken care of", because she does it. This is an unfortunate situation that you created for yourself. Your first mistake was getting physically involved with a married man. Your second mistake was getting emotionally involved with a married man. Third mistake, was not making that married man put on a condom! You need to first wake up and realize that he is not leaving his wife for you. It's been almost 2 years, if he wanted to leave her, he would have done it already. Even if he did leave her, why would you want him? He's already proven to be a liar, a cheater, and a deadbeat. You need to stop sleeping with him, he's using you. If you ever want him to take you seriously about supporting his son, you have to take sex off the table. You need to make your relationship with him strictly about parenting and taking care of the baby. Let him know that unless he's coming over to see about his son, there's no need in stopping by. You also need to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that once you stop giving him what he wants, he might not want anything to do with you or your baby. Start making moves and decisions to put yourself in a position to take care of you and your son without his help. Now I believe strongly that "home wrecking" goes both ways, the husband is just as, if not more guilty than the other woman. You might just be a good person who made a bad decision. The most important thing is that you learn from this.
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