My husband and I are at war about child rearing. Our son is 3 years old, people say that I have spoiled him, but I don’t think so. I admit that he can be hard to handle, and doesn’t listen. He acts out in public, we are always being approached by security and managers about his behavior in stores. He breaks and throws things when we try to stop him, and he doesn’t get along well with other children. My husband thinks we should spank him, I say no. He’s a boy, and I think that if I spank him he will grow up to hate women. It might sound crazy but that’s how I feel. I don’t even like the way my husband plays with him, sometimes I feel he’s too rough, I don’t want my son to grow up to be to hard. My husband and I argue all the time about this, he thinks I’m making him soft. He’s just a baby how do I make my husband understand this?
I agree with you both. As a mother of a small son myself, I understand the bond between mother and son. I also understand the tendency for mothers to be lenient when it comes to disciplining their boys. Men are by nature more thick skinned and tougher than we are, and no father wants his son to grow up and be “soft” we as women don’t call it soft we call it sensitive. The bottom line is, you have to discipline your son, that’s the way he will learn right from wrong, and the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. He has to be made to respect authority, take responsibility for his actions, and accept the consequenses of those actions, or in time he will run into a lifetime of very serious problems, in school, and maybe even with the law, kids who don’t respect authority turn into adults who don’t respect authority. Let’s also not forget the fact that nobody likes dealing with someone elses bad ass kids! You’re going to have a hard time finding babysitters, and he’s going to have a hard time making and keeping friends. The method of discipline should be one that you both can settle on. I’m gonna have to agree with the old proverb on this one “spare the rod spoil the child”. Boys who are beaten and abused by their mothers can grow up to hate women, not boys who are disciplined out of love. If you can’t stomach it, then let your husband handle the discipline aspect of it, but I caution you, that if you do that, then you run the risk of your son not respecting you as he gets older. You would be surprised how resilient children are, you can discipline your child for unacceptable behavior, they’ll be upset one minute and they’re over it the next. So don’t worry about him hating you. As far as your husband , playing rough, I wouldn’t worry about it. Unless he’s hurting him, let the boys play! Keep in mind your husband loves him too, he’s not going to intentionally hurt his baby. The funny thing is that if you had a baby girl, you would probably be the one complaining about his inability to discipline. I especially understand your feelings if this is your first and only child. Trust me, it’ll get easier, just let go a little and let your husband father his son, I’m assuming your husband is a good man, so believe that he knows what to do, to make a good man out of your baby boy.
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