DYING INSIDE

Dear Nikki G
 I need to talk about something, but the people I know are so judgemental.  I've been in a relationship for the past 4 years, we we're even engaged. Our relationship had it's ups and downs but we were in love.  for the past year or so things started changing, our fights started getting physical (I've been to the ER twice), and I found out he was cheating.  I tried to ignore his realtionship with her, because I didn't want to argue and fight.  But I just couldn't take it anymore.  When I confronted him about it and told him he needed to make a choice, he left.  He sent his brother to our apartment to get his things, and he moved out, he even asked for his ring back.  My friends and family didn't like him so they're glad he's gone, but I'm not.  Everyone says it will get better but, it's been over a month, and I'm physically sick, I haven't been able to eat, and don't want to go anywhere, I barely make it to work.  I think there's a chance we can work this out, deep down he is a good man, should I try to get him to come home? By the way I like the site.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®



Thanks honey!  Ok look, I've been where you are so trust what I'm going to tell you.  It WILL get easier!!!  DO NOT go calling him trying to get him back...he's gone.  I know you're hurting, but hurting comes before healing.  Your family and friends don't like him because they see what you don't, which is that you deserve better, and clearly he is not the man for you.  Try not to shut them out.  For the sake of arguement let's say he did come back, do you think the abuse is going to stop?  It won't.  These things only escalate and get worse, that's not love, and if it is his twisted version of love, it's not healthy for you. 

I want you to get on your knees and thank God for this other woman!  The Lord sent her to loose you.  Don't worry yourself sick wondering about them together, trust me, he will inevitably be the same lying, abusive man to her that he was to you, but hey she wanted him, she got him, better her than you.  Now it's time for you to pick up the pieces, and get it together.  I know from experience how "physical" heartbreak can get, so first things first, you're appetite will return slowly once you start eating again.  Force yourself little by little to eat, and trust me your appetite will return to normal.  Once you start eating again, your energy will increase and it will be easier and easier to get up and out everyday.  It's time to start dating again!  That doesn't mean jumping into another relationship right away.  Gather up your girls, fix your hair, put your make up  on, throw on your favorite dress, and hit your favorite hot spot!  You've been off the market for 4 years, now you're back! wiser, and better!  There's a lot of good men out here you just have to make your self available for them to find you, they surely can't find you if you're at home stuck in the bed.    Also take this time to work on you, bettering yourself, and maybe doing some things you might have been putting off.  It's ok to be single for awhile, you have to be at peace by yourself before you can be at peace with someone else. 

NOTE: You will never recognize a good man, unless you first have had a bad one.