WHAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE STAYS...

Nikki G
Me and my husband have been going through some things for the past few months.  I found out he cheated.  We separated for some time, but now we're back together and working it out.  My mother and sister think I should leave him. Over the years they have seen us go through things and they just don't like him.  Now it's to the point where everytime they come by our house, they don't speak to him, and always are making smart remarks about him.  He is irritated with the situation and doesn't want to be around them anymore.  I love my husband and my family, but I feel like he's putting me in a bad position, I've asked my sister to stop disrespecting him, but she is a grown woman, I can't control what she says or does, and he doesn't understand that.  I don't know what to do anymore.



It's true you don't have control over the next persons actions, however you do have control over what goes on in your house.  You have got to let your mother and sister know that if they want to continue to come by, they have to respect your marriage and your husband.  You don't have to choose a side, let both sides know that you understand where they're coming from.  Your husband has good cause to not want to be bothered.  He doesn't have to subject himself to their ridicule and disrespect, especially in his own house.  You made the decision to take him back and save your marriage, so stand on your choice and stand up for your husband, do not allow them to create chaos in your relationship, especially right now when things may still be a little rocky.  If you want to prevent things like this from happening in the future,  STOP telling them everything!  It's ok to talk to your mother and sister about some things, and lean on them for advice sometimes, but they do not need to know everytime something is going wrong in your marriage.  They have formed their opionions of your husband based on the things you have told them, you forgave him, but they haven't.  So from now on, if you're having a problem with your husband, talk to your husband, or maybe someone else who is not so involved, that can remain objective.  Try telling your family about the good things going on in your marriage, if they start hearing and seeing the positive things, then eventually over time their perceptions will change.